Walt Whitman Quote

Here is the test of wisdom;
Wisdom is not finally tested in schools;
Wisdom cannot be pass’d from one having it, to another not having it;
Wisdom is of the Soul, is not susceptible of proof, is its own proof,	80
Applies to all stages and objects and qualities, and is content,
Is the certainty of the reality and immortality of things, and the excellence of things;
Something there is in the float of the sight of things that provokes it out of the Soul.

Kate Beck Events

My best friend Kate Beck of Kate Beck events posted this awesome post about my wedding! Thanks Kate!

Wedding Planner as Guest

My BFF tied the knot in June, and I must admit: I loved, loved, loved being a guest. While of course I also love designing, planning, coordinating, and executing wedding days for clients - it was just so much fun enjoying the celebration without a clipboard in hand! Based on my referral, Lauren hired fellow Wilmington, DE native, and multi-talented Kristen Nichols to design her invitations as well as photograph her special day. I knew Lauren would fall in love with Kristen's style and as you will see, it's easy to do. The nuptials and merriment were held at the Hotel Tabard Inn. If you haven't been there - go. The location, food and ambiance is simply perfect. And the lovely flowers were designed by the similarly multi-talented Sidra Forman. Professional note: if you are planning an intimate affair in the DC area, you must check out the aforementioned vendors. Personal note: it was a stunningly beautiful wedding, and a tremendous joy to witness. Congratulations Lar and Dre! xo, Kate

Our Wedding Invitation

Kristen Hudson-Nichols created a beautiful invitation out of one of my Grandmother's pieces of art work for us to use as our invitation. We LOVED it!!

Eckhart on Unemployment

Question: For those of us who are unemployed and seeking employment, how do you stay connected to the Source, and to your own sense of divinity, and still deal with the reality and the drama and the pain of trying to find a job?

ET: It’s challenging. Challenges are good, potentially – they can either wake you up, or they can pull you into more reactivity, unconsciousness and suffering. Every challenge that comes into your life can go either this way, or that way. Potentially the challenge is very helpful. Challenge means limitation in one form or another. I’m certainly grateful for the challenges that came into my life. I wouldn’t be here, and many of you realize that without the challenges in your life, you wouldn’t be here either.

This is something I have a little bit of personal experience with also. Or maybe even quite a lot of personal experience – because for a large part of my adult life I was actually not employed, as such. For a large part I lived on relatively little, for quite a few years, even in my thirties, below the poverty line. At that time I read the paper, and it mentioned the income level for a single person, for what was considered to be below the poverty line, and I thought “I’m much below that!” But I didn’t realize I was “poor”. I realized that there were things I couldn’t afford to buy. I could buy tomato sauce but I couldn’t buy spaghetti sauce. Tomato sauce is cheaper, much cheaper. That stayed with me for many years. Even as recently as four years ago, I still find myself getting tomato sauce instead of spaghetti sauce because it’s cheaper.

There are practical things that you need to re-adjust and deal with. There’s some action you need to take, in order to adjust to the new situation; all that is in the practical realm. Then there is the mental realm. In the mental realm is where the suffering could arise, not in the practical realm. There’s no suffering in eating spaghetti with a thin tomato sauce – this is just one little example here, that stands for many things – rather than a nice, specially prepared sauce for pasta. But if, suddenly thought arises, and you think “this is what it has come to”, or “I have to eat this watery sauce, the cheapest food there is”, or “I’ve failed” or “I probably won’t find another job, because billions of people are now looking for jobs and it’s pointless” or “I’ll have to eat the same thing tomorrow” – and [these thoughts] are where the suffering comes from.

The suffering also comes from the diminished sense of self-worth, now where is that? Of course that’s in your head. “I’m useless”, or “I’m too old and nobody will employ me anymore” or “I should have had a better education”, whatever the thoughts are – it creates a diminished sense of self-worth. That is because your self-worth before was derived from your function in this world – which is a very normal thing. But it wasn’t really derived from your function, it was derived from what your mind told you about your function in this world. You derived your sense of self-worth from certain thoughts in your head, and you got perhaps some feedback from others who also told you that you were useful – you were part of all that interaction that people have when they have a job. You have a boss, the boss might tell you that you’re doing well, you’re getting a promotion, the clients love you, and so on - and you’ve built up your sense of self from your thoughts and the thoughts of others.

The opportunity now, when you have a diminished sense of self-worth, is to go to a deeper place where a sense of self-worth has nothing to do with what you are doing in this world. Nothing to do with what anybody tells you about yourself. It is a sense of self-worth or value that has nothing to do with the structure of thinking. You can use this challenge to see if you can find something – a deeper place in you – where there is something far greater than anything that could be derived from thinking about yourself.

When you lose your job, the self-image can be damaged. And that is where the suffering comes from. The self-image is made up of thinking. The damaged self-image can lead to more suffering, and it will just go on and on – and it can pull you deeper. And perhaps they will even say “yes, you’re right”. Or, you step out of deriving your sense of who you are – ultimately – from thinking. You go into the aliveness of Being, of Presence. And you realize that who you actually are is much more vitally there than anything you can think about.

The ideas in your head – the thoughts that tell you something about who you are and what you are worth – are ultimately illusory. It is illusory both when the thoughts are good, and when the thoughts are negative. The illusory nature can perhaps be more easily recognized when the thoughts become negative and cause suffering. Suffering can be an awakener.

Use that opportunity of a diminished sense of self-worth and self-image, and step beyond. Then, perhaps, you’ll find a job – but your sense of worth no longer depends on what you do there, or what you don’t do, or achieve or don’t achieve. You will find some transcendence, and you can bring that transcendence into your next job. The clinging to mental images is not there anymore. You’ll be surprised how well you’ll do, in your next job, when the clinging to images isn’t there anymore.

The success that you are more likely to encounter in that state of consciousness will not be the cause of your feeling of fulfillment because the fulfillment has already been found directly – in the present moment, in the depth of who you are. You no longer look to external situations to fulfill you. When you no longer look to external situations to fulfill you, the miracle is that external situations become quite fulfilling. That is where you can use this challenge as part of your awakening.

There is no suffering in the practical things. For a while I didn’t even have a home and I would just drift around. Fortunately, I had already stepped out of identification with money. If I had still been stuck in the mental box, it would have been a time of great suffering, because my mind would have told me certain things about myself, which I would have completely believed. “I have failed”, “I have thrown away all these opportunities that life has given me”, “I was a graduate student at a great university”, “I could have done great things”, “I’ve thrown it all away”, “Why did this happen to me”, “I’m useless”, “Nobody’s going to employ me” – that’s suffering.

Fortunately, I had already stepped out of that, so there was no suffering, just the situation of this moment. There was actually beauty and aliveness in it. Self-worth was no longer dependent on what I was doing in this world.

Any challenge, whether it’s that kind of challenge, or a physical challenge, whatever it may be – it can be used as the fire that burns up unconsciousness.

Virginia Johnson

I am a little bit obsessed with Virginia Johnson right now. Received her website via Daily Candy today and was totally jealous of her entire business/art/life. She creates fabrics from watercolors. Everything is screen printed in Canada or India. Ends up with super cool organic shapes etc. Loves her!! This is her Aegean Blue pillow which seems appropriate since we just got back from the Greek Islands. Gorgeous!

I haven't been blogging in a bit. Laziness because of the never ending cloudy weather took over. On the plus side I had time to check out a local meditation group. My friend Molly and I decided it was time to try one of these meditation groups and last night was the night. After driving back and forth on Rt. 50 for about 20 minutes, and passing at least 20 churches (I am not exaggerating at all) we finally found the place. By this time we were really late and we could see everyone sitting peacefully inside. We stood outside sort of nervously pacing and debating about whether we would be kicked out of class for coming in late and disturbing everyone.

Finally we decided to enter and I am so glad we did. Molly really gets the credit because I probably would have wimped out and gone home. We brought along our own sitting cushions and quietly plopped down in the back of the room. It was about 30 people all sitting in chairs or on the floors with Jonathan Foust leading the meditation. We sat in silence and then Jonathan added little bits of advice about how to improve your experience. After the meditation he gave a talk about being comfortable with the impermanence of things. All in all - I loved it and will definately be back. Check out the International Meditation Center of Washington website for more information.

Peace & Quiet

I had a frustrating day yesterday and was trying to avoid a glass of wine and turn to a more productive method of self care. I had not meditated in a few weeks at least and it was almost as if I had forgotten the amazing benefits of meditation. I sat down with my Buddha lamp, vision board and candles and put on my favorite meditation track and was pleased to find instant stress reduction. I'm not saying that it was easy, especially after my long hiatus, but meditating is truly the only way for me to feel 100% and I'm still feeling the effects 24 hours later. Drug/alcohol free my friends.

A lot of people have asked me how I meditate. I have taken meditation classes before but, have always felt like I knew what to do. I do have a special place where I sit. I've created a vision board and find it powerful to meditate right in front of this board. I also have a little altar with photos that are special to me, books I love as well as other meaningful trinkets. I always use my Kelly Howell mediation cd and have done so for the almost 10 years that I have meditated.

After sitting down I try to take very deep breaths. I was taught in my meditation class that it is important to only breath through your nose. My mother always taught me "in through the nose out through the mouth" when I was upset as a kid so I sort of jump back and forth between the two. Your mind will immediately begin to quiet down when the track begins playing. Then I try to look at the backs of my eyelids. Sounds weird but, when you try it things sort of start to open up. I follow the shapes, movement & color that I see with my eyes closed. Thoughts will come into your mind but, try to let them come and go. It can take a long time to have a really powerful meditative experience. I have had great experiences meditating for over an hour without much thought at all.

It's a meaningful part of my life and how I feel connected to God, other people & the planet. I find my whole life to be easier, happier & more meaningful when meditation is part of it. To summarize:

Lauren's Meditation Tips:

1. Create peaceful sanctuary; even if it's a corner of your bedroom.

2. Put on comfortable clothes & light candles

3. Use sound track to get started; can find these on itunes, in Target etc. Kelly Howell is my favorite.

4. Try to focus on your breathing and don't get frustrated if thoughts come into your head. You could end up sitting and thinking the first few times you meditate.

5. Create consistency but, not time requirements. I try to meditate as often as possible even if it is only for 2 minutes. I think that when you start requiring that you meditate for at least 30 minutes or so you are less likely to stick with it.

6. Enjoy this quiet time and keep a journal that records how meditation has affected other parts of your life.

Let me know how it goes!!